A photo of a man standing in a street with blurred people walking past him to represent the topic of the article - The Loneliness Of The Unsaid: Insights From Carl Jung

The Loneliness Of The Unsaid: Insights From Carl Jung

I’ve written about loneliness a few times now, but when I came across the thoughts of Carl Jung on loneliness, it echoed something I was already familiar with. As such, I wanted to discuss this in today’s article, to see if it resonates with anyone else.

 
 

Carl Jung On Loneliness

 

As reported in The Economic Times (2026), Carl Jung’s perspective on loneliness moves our focus from a literal understanding of being alone to an issue around expression. This reminds me of an episode of Scrubs, which has always stuck with me.

 

 

Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around

Scrubs, J.D

 

According to Butler (n.d.), when we feel alone in life, it could indicate that there’s an inner world issue inside us that needs addressing. Therefore, when we’re feeling deeply alone, it could be because, for whatever reason, we feel unable to express ourselves. Thus, the Scrubs clip and quote. Feeling heard is quintessential to good wellbeing, and a lot of job dissatisfaction comes from feeling like we’re not being heard.

 

Carl Jung: Loneliness And Expression

 

In the modern world we live in, where we’re more connected than ever, thanks to the digital world we now exist in with its 24/7 connectivity being the norm, one might think we’d be less lonely. However, that isn’t the case. It’s been argued that the quality of our communication is the issue, with everything becoming more surface-level, partly because people are worried about expressing their real thoughts and struggles (The Economic Times, 2026). Fear of judgment and rejection play a big role in this.

 

As such, loneliness can feel like a silent weight resting on us, but it is frequently a symptom of a bridge that hasn’t been built yet. When we struggle to express ourselves, that bridge remains unfinished, leaving us on an island of our own thoughts. This can also lead to overthinking.

 

But if we can let curiosity about our loneliness outweigh our fear of it, we give ourselves the chance to see what it might have to teach us (Butler, n.d.).

 

The cycle of silence

The relationship between loneliness and self-expression is often a “feedback loop”. When we feel misunderstood, we stop trying to explain ourselves; when we stop explaining ourselves, we feel even more isolated. When I was a child being bullied at school for the colour of my skin, I tried to talk to my mum about it, but they just didn’t understand, and I never reached out to anyone again.

 
 

The internal filter

We often censor our true feelings because we fear being “too much”, “too weird”, or “too needy”. My partner does this regarding how they dress, because both my partner and I are alternative, but my partner feels they have to hide that when it comes to work. Even people coming to talk to them because they see my partner as a fellow goth metalhead at work will feel uncomfortable, and cause anxiety.

 

The vocabulary gap

Often, we can struggle to articulate what’s going on, or the words simply don’t exist for the complexity of what we’re feeling, because we can feel several conflicting things at the same time. This can make it hard to know how to describe our feelings, especially if we’re not able to accept the conflicting feelings. This is often the case when it comes to loss.

 

We can feel both relieved and sad when someone dies, but the former can cause us to feel like something is wrong with us, when that is a typical response. I was relieved when my granddad died because his dementia had robbed him of everything, but I was still sad because I loved my granddad.

 

The performance trap

For those of us who grew up without social media during our childhood, we may not have this issue as much. But social media and modern social norms can often cause us to feel like we have to “curate” an acceptable version of ourselves. This makes authentic expression feel risky or out of place.

 
 

Carl Jung: Why Expression Matters

 

Expressing ourselves is more than just venting from time to time, although there’s nothing wrong with a good vent. It’s about externalising our internal world, and that can be done in many ways. So if the thought of expressing ourselves feels overwhelming, we can start with low-stakes methods.

 

Labelling

If we find ourselves overwhelmed by our emotions and sensations, labelling our feelings can work as an anchor, an anchor that becomes stuck in the rational thinking areas of our brain (Anxious Minds, n.d.). This can also help us understand our complex feelings, because more often than we probably know, we’re experiencing several emotions at once. Labels like this can also help us add a form of psychological distance from them, making them easier to navigate.

 

Shared reality

Connection isn’t built on proximity; it’s built on shared vulnerability. This is why I often share my personal experience with my writing when I feel it’ll be relevant. We can also provide that for others by creating a safe space.

 

Removing the mask

When we’re unable to express our true inner selves, others can only interact with the “mask” we wear, which increases the feeling of being alone even in a crowd.

 

The picture is split in two, with the top image being of a woman sitting in a busy cafe on their own. The bottom image being of a woman looking in a crowd of people. The two images are separated by the article title - The Loneliness Of The Unsaid: Insights From Carl Jung

 

Journaling

Journaling allows us to express ourselves without having to have an audience, and this can be enough on its own. But it works better as an entry point to connecting with others more meaningfully. Such habits help us to better understand our inner world, so that we can share it with others.

 

Creative outlets

Artists are known for using their art form to tell a story or to share their inner world with the world, but we don’t need to be an artist to do that. Music, art, crafting, creative writing, or even curated playlists can communicate a mood when words fail.

 

The “I feel” formula

To help us establish what we’re feeling and why, saying “I feel [emotion] because [reason]” simplifies complex thoughts into manageable statements and makes for an easy journaling task.

 

Micro-disclosures

To help us find the people we can make a part of our social support network, to build those safe spaces, and to help us start to be more authentic about how we feel, start small. Sharing a small, non-threatening truth with someone is a great way to test the waters of vulnerability. This is an approach I recommend a lot to my clients.

 
 

Summary

 

As Carl Jung states, loneliness is rarely about a there being lack of people (both friends and family); it is about a lack of being known. Finding the courage to express even a small fraction of our internal world is the first step toward inviting someone in, and them inviting us in. In any healthy relationship, this can make a huge difference.

 

As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with Carl Jung’s understanding of loneliness in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, you can sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, click the red bell icon in the bottom right corner to get push notifications for new articles.

 

Lastly, if you’d like to support my blog, please find the PayPal and Ko-fi donation payment options below. Until next time, Unwanted Life readers.

 

 

References

 

Anxious Minds. (n.d.). Emotional Naming – Name it to tame it; helps regulate intense feelings. Anxious Minds. Retrieved from https://www.anxiousminds.co.uk/emotional-naming-regulate-intense-feelings.

Butler, A. (n.d.). Loneliness and Solitude: A Jungian View. Jung Society of Utah. Retrieved from https://jungutah.org/blog/loneliness-and-solitude-a-jungian-view.

The Economic Times. (2026, May 12). Quote of the day by psychologist Carl Jung: ‘Loneliness doesn’t come from having no people around one, but the inability to…’ Thoughts on emotional isolation from world-famous psychoanalyst. The Economic Times. Retrieved from https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/new-updates/quote-of-the-day-by-psychologist-carl-jung-loneliness-doesnt-come-from-having-no-people-around-one-but-from-being-unable-to-communicate-the-things-that-seem-important-to-oneself-thoughts-on-emotional-isolation-from-famous-psychoanalyst/articleshow/130855286.cms.

1 thought on “The Loneliness Of The Unsaid: Insights From Carl Jung

  1. Thank you for sharing this insightful, well-researched piece. I think loneliness is such a problem – people don’t realise that it can affect people of all ages, not just the elderly. Opening up and going some way to showing a person who you really are can make all the difference.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Discover more from Unwanted Life

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading