In an ideal world, none of us would experience a traumatic event. But we don’t live in an ideal world. Therefore, we have to learn to deal with and recover from trauma. This article explores strategies for moving on after a traumatic event. And hopefully, we’ll all learn to approach our experiences with more compassion and understanding for ourselves as a result of this article.
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored article, but all thoughts and opinions are my own. Read my full disclosure here.
Traumatic Event: What Is Trauma?
There are two types of trauma that we can develop. There’s the better-known post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which typically follows a single traumatic event, and is the focus of today’s article. But there’s also complex post-traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD), which is a form of trauma that we can develop as a result of repeated exposure to very negative experiences (Sheldon-Dean, n.d.).
After a traumatic event, such as a car crash or a terrorist attack, moving forward may not feel like a simple path. Often, it’s a daily effort that weighs on us in unexpected ways. According to Schnyder (2013), trauma is very much a global issue, one that has been highlighted by the recent spate of global terror attacks since the start of the 21st century.
This is supported by Kessler et al. (2017), whose study had 68,894 participants spread across 24 countries and found that 70.4% of the participants experienced some form of trauma. This potentially means that over 70% of people globally have experienced or will face a traumatic event in their lifetime.
When we’ve experienced trauma, life that once felt familiar can start to feel uncertain, as if we are learning how to exist in a changed version of our world. We are processing what happened and trying to understand who we are now in its aftermath.
This transition can feel heavy, confusing, and deeply personal. That’s if we’re even aware that we’ve started this process. Healing isn’t a straight path; is it ever? We don’t have to rush it or force ourselves to be ok before we’re ready. In fact, that might be the worst thing for us to do.
How To Overcome A Traumatic Event
Reconnect with the present
Experiencing a traumatic event can lead to us reliving that experience or cause us to ruminate on what happened. Therefore, gently reconnecting with the present after a traumatic event can help guide our attention back to what is happening in our lives right now.
This is useful because it’s so easy for our thoughts to drift to the past, as that is a natural response. But when it comes to trauma, it’s not always the most helpful natural response.
Fortunately, we can slowly train ourselves to notice small, grounding details around us, such as our breath, our surroundings, or simple daily tasks. There are also several grounding strategies we can try, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method, or carrying a tactile object we can run our fingers across when we need to ground ourselves in the present. These moments help us feel more anchored when everything feels overwhelming.
According to Strohmaier, Jones, and Cane (2021), engaging in mindfulness and embracing the present can help us avoid dwelling on the past so we can appreciate life. Plus, it can help manage stress, depression, and anxiety.
Reconnecting with the present allows us to rebuild a sense of safety in our everyday lives. We can begin to realise that not every moment is shaped by the past, and that we still have access to peace in the current moment. As we cultivate this awareness, we gradually reclaim control over our focus and begin to embrace life once more, one step at a time, restoring our quality of life.
Accept the truth
The hardest step in our healing process is often accepting the truth after a traumatic event. We may find ourselves wanting to minimise what happened or hope that things were not as painful as they were. Then there are issues such as survivor’s guilt. When we begin to acknowledge the reality as it actually is, we permit ourselves to stop fighting our own experience.
This acceptance does not mean approval or forgetting what we’ve gone through. It simply means we are willing to see our situation clearly, even when it feels uncomfortable. Accepting the truth helps us create space for genuine healing and emotional stability as we recover from the traumatic event. Hopefully, we’ll start to realise that moving on isn’t about wiping our past away. It is about figuring out how to coexist with it healthily.
We may still feel pain, but it becomes something we can acknowledge without being overwhelmed by it. In this process, we rebuild trust in ourselves and our ability to move forward with strength.
Seek closure
Seeking closure after a traumatic event means allowing ourselves to make sense of what happened in a way that helps us move forward. As Levoy (2024) put it, closure isn’t a one-off event, but rather a journey that unfolds over time. It involves being vulnerable and digging deep into your emotions about what we have been through.
For example, when we struggle to find closure after a road accident, we may also benefit from practical support that clarifies our rights and responsibilities. A car accident lawyer can help us understand our legal options, handle communication with insurance companies, and reduce stress. This can free us from a lot of the mental effort that comes with this process, allowing us to focus more on our healing.
According to TorHoerman Law, being injured due to someone else’s lack of care can significantly alter our lives. It often brings about physical suffering, emotional turmoil (trauma), and financial strain.
Over time, seeking closure helps us to regain emotional balance and creates space for new experiences. But we have to allow ourselves to let go of what we can’t change, and focus on rebuilding stability in our lives, one step at a time each day. To continue using the car accident example, this might mean creating an exposure plan to help us get back in our car and driving again.
Hot and cold memories
Another thing we can do to help with our recovery from a traumatic event is to use narrative exposure therapy. The idea is that the reason why our traumatic events can be so hard to get over is that they’ve formed hot memories, where they’re packed full of the emotions of the time. By repeatedly recalling and processing the traumatic events in a safe setting, we can strip the emotions from the memories, turning them into cold memories.
This was the way I ended up overcoming my childhood trauma, not because I did it intentionally, but because my mind wasn’t going to let me stop ruminating on it. I just decided to stop fighting it and let those thoughts run their course.
Over time, the power they had over me went, and my emotional wellbeing stabilised. I was also over the worst of my chronic insomnia. I went from barely getting an hour a night to four hours a night, which made a huge difference.
Be patient
Life is often busy, and we don’t know what might be thrown our way. It’s easy to feel like exploding in frustration, but that won’t help get the obstacles out of the way, which will start piling up if we give in to our frustration.
Like a lot of things in life, it often comes down to being patient. Overcoming trauma and handling our life in the present as we do so is no different. We’re not born with patience; it’s a skill we have to develop ourselves (Cleveland Clinic, 2024).
After a traumatic event, be patient with ourselves and allow ourselves to go through the healing process at its own pace. We may feel pressure to appear strong or to move on quickly, but emotional healing is rarely linear. Some days may feel easier, while others may bring unexpected waves of emotion.
Rushing it will only lead to issues further down the line. We’re not falling behind but simply moving through a deeply personal process that cannot be measured by time alone.
Kindness
When we practice patience, it becomes an expression of self-compassion that encourages deeper healing. In times like these, treating ourselves with kindness is really important.
Remember, whatever setbacks that might come our way are simply part of the journey of adjusting and rebuilding as we recover from the traumatic event. Giving ourselves time creates space for steady progress, even when it seems slow. Every step we take is significant, but not every step will be big.
FAQs
How long does it take to get over a traumatic event?
There is no fixed timeline for getting over a traumatic event. It depends on the person, the severity of the experience, and the support available. Some people feel better in months; others take years. Healing is gradual, non-linear, and focused on adapting rather than completely forgetting or erasing memories.
What is the hardest trauma to recover from?
There is no single hardest trauma to recover from because everyone responds differently. However, long-term childhood issues, accidents, and ongoing neglect are often especially difficult because they affect trust, safety, and identity, which are typically found in cPTSD. Recovery depends on support, environment, and personal resilience, but healing can still happen with time and care.
How to reset the nervous system after trauma?
After experiencing trauma, we can nurture our nervous system with gentle and consistent practices. Things like deep breathing, grounding strategies, and making sure we’re getting enough sleep can make a difference. Incorporating mindfulness and having conversations with a therapist or other people in our social support network can also help soothe our stress response and restore a sense of safety in our body.
Key Takeaways
| Healing strategy | Specific actions | Expected benefit |
| Reconnect with the present | Practice mindfulness, focus on breathing and grounding, and notice our surroundings daily | Reduces stress, anxiety, and rumination while improving emotional stability |
| Accept the truth | Acknowledge the traumatic event without minimising or denying it | Builds self-awareness, emotional resilience, and acceptance |
| Seek closure | Process emotions, seek therapy if needed, and address legal or practical issues (e.g., after a car accident) | Reduces unresolved stress and supports emotional recovery |
| Hot and cold memories | Process the traumatic experience with a therapist or in a safe setting | Reduces the emotional impact of those memories |
| Be patient | Accept that healing is gradual and avoid comparing our progress to others | Encourages self-compassion, lowers frustration, and supports long-term healing |
| Kindess | Treat ourselves with kindness and allow ourselves the space to heal | Encourages giving us time to heal |
Summary
Moving forward after a traumatic event is not about reaching a perfect ending. It is about finding ways to live with greater steadiness and self-understanding. We may still carry memories of what happened, yet they do not have to define every part of our lives, nor carry the same emotional impact.
As we continue adjusting to our post-traumatic lives, we can discover a quiet sense of strength in simply showing up each day. With time, life can begin to feel more open again, offering space for new meaning and possibilities to grow.
As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with traumatic events in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, you can sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, click the red bell icon in the bottom right corner to get push notifications for new articles.
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References
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, June 5). How to be Patient: 6 strategies to help you keep your cool. Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-patient.
Kessler, R. C., Aguilar-Gaxiola, S., Alonso, J., Benjet, C., Bromet, E. J., Cardoso, G., Degenhardt, L., de Girolamo, G., Dinolova, R. V., Ferry, F., Florescu, S., Gureje, O., Haro, J. M., Huang, Y., Karam, E. G., Kawakami, N., Lee, S., Lepine, J. P., Levinson, D., Navarro-Mateu, F., Pennell, B., Piazza, M., Posada-Villa, J., Scott, K. M., Stein, D. J., Have, M. T., Torres, Y., Viana, C. M., Petukhova, M. V., Sampson, N. A., Zaslavsky, A. M., & Koenen, K. C. (2017). Trauma and PTSD in the WHO World Mental Health Surveys. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 8(sup5), 1353383. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2017.1353383 and https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5632781.
Schnyder, U. (2013). Trauma is a global issue. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 4, 10-3402. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/20008198.2017.1403257.
Levoy, G. (2024, September 1). The Truth About Getting Closure: Closure isn’t the feel-good ending we imagine, but an ongoing search for meaning. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passion/202408/the-truth-about-getting-closure.
Sheldon-Dean, H. (n.d.). What Is Complex Trauma?. Child Mind Institute. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/what-is-complex-trauma.
Strohmaier, S., Jones, F. W., & Cane, J. E. (2021). Effects of length of mindfulness practice on mindfulness, depression, anxiety, and stress: A randomized controlled experiment. Mindfulness, 12(1), 198-214. Retrieved from https://www.academia.edu/download/94899846/s12671-020-01512-520221127-1-1tep0v9.pdf.