If there’s one rule we should all live by, it’s Wheaton’s Law of “Don’t Be A Dick“. Life would be so much easier if everyone stopped being a dick. Given that it’s Don’t Be A Dick Day on the 29th July, let’s talk about how not to be a dick.
Origin Of The “Don’t Be A Dick” Philosophy
Although I, and you, have heard the phrase before, it didn’t become a way of life, the “don’t be a dick” philosophy of life. According to Know Your Meme, the statement we all would like to be true was cemented into our collective philosophy, thanks to Wil Wheaton (Richard William Wheaton III) of Star Trek: The Next Generation and The Big Bang Theory fame, in August 2007. This was one of his core messages when speaking about sportsmanship in online gaming.
The Philosophy Of Don’t Be A Dick
The philosophy of “don’t be a dick” is a simple yet powerful concept that can have a profound impact on our interactions with others and our overall wellbeing. It’s about treating others with respect, kindness, and consideration, even when we disagree with them or find them difficult to deal with.
At its core, the philosophy of “don’t be a dick” is about empathy and understanding. It’s about recognising that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences and that we should treat them with the same respect we would want to be treated with.
To honour its gaming origins, let’s ditch the toxic and hateful language in gaming, especially when we’re trying to enjoy a game together. Being an unpleasant dick just because you’re losing or because you’ve lost is a tiny dick energy move. So don’t be a dick. Just say “good game” and move on to the next match. Wasting time to verbally abuse or leave abusive comments is the epitome of alpha male small-dick energy. Gaming is meant to be fun, so don’t ruin it.
Some Key Principles Of The Philosophy Of “Don’t Be A Dick”
The philosophy of “don’t be a dick” essentially revolves around practising empathy, kindness, and consideration towards others. It involves:
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and consider the feelings, perspectives, and needs of others. This helps in being more sensitive to other people’s experiences and treating them compassionately.
When we approach others with a negative or judgmental attitude, it’s more likely that we’ll have negative interactions with them. Instead, try to assume the best in others and give them the benefit of the doubt. Easier said than done with some people, but try as best you can.
Be mindful of your words and actions
Our words and actions have a powerful impact on others. Be mindful of the way you speak to others and the things you do, and make sure you are always respectful and considerate. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words last forever.
Listen to understand, not just to respond
When someone is talking to you, make sure you are really listening to what they are saying. Try to understand their perspective and where they are coming from, even if you don’t agree with them.
Be willing to compromise
We’re not always going to agree with everyone we meet, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find common ground. Be willing to compromise and find solutions that work for everyone involved.
Apologise when you’re wrong
Everyone makes mistakes, and the philosophy of “not being a dick” is about owning up to your mistakes and apologising when you’re wrong. A sincere apology can go a long way in repairing a relationship.
Accountability
Taking responsibility for one’s actions and words. Being aware of the impact one has on others and holding oneself accountable for one’s behaviour.
Being perfect
The philosophy of “don’t be a dick” is not about being perfect. It’s about making a conscious effort to be kind, respectful, and considerate of others, even when it’s difficult. When we make an effort to live by this philosophy, we can make the world a better place, both for ourselves and for everyone around us.
Respect
Valuing others’ dignity, beliefs, and boundaries. Respecting differences in opinions, backgrounds, and lifestyles fosters a more inclusive and harmonious environment. Accept, embrace, and value diversity in all of its forms rather than mocking, rejecting, or isolating people for their differences. I’m looking at you, gamer trolls.
Kindness
Choosing to act with generosity, goodwill, and positivity towards others. Small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on people and communities.
Even if the whole universe is nothing but a bunch of jerks doing all kinds of jerk-type things, there is still liberation in simply not being a jerk
Constructive communication
Engaging in open, honest, and respectful communication. It involves expressing oneself without causing harm or disrespect to others. Also, ditch the criticism sandwich for constructive feedback.
Thoughtfulness
Check possibly selfish motivations and consider others’ wellbeing before making choices that could disadvantage, hurt, or dismiss people and communities.
Cooperation over competition
Work together toward shared goals through listening, compromise, and seeking mutual understanding. Elevate the humanity in each other. Again, looking at you gamer trolls. It gets old having to put up with abuse when you’re just trying to relax after a hard day at work.
Summary
Embracing the philosophy of “don’t be a dick” contributes to creating a more empathetic, respectful, and compassionate society, fostering healthier relationships and overall wellbeing for everyone involved. Not being a dick is simple in concept, yet profoundly wise in application. At its core is embracing basic human decency in how we think, speak, and act.
In essence, this philosophy asks us to reflect on how we can spread more care, empathy, respect, compassion, and kindness – even when difficult. It’s making a mindful choice not to be a dick. And I try to get the people around me to do that, or I cut them out of my life, even if they’re just gaming friends. I’m too old to put up with that negativity nowadays.
If you want to celebrate Don’t Be A Dick Day, then consider the following as suggested by Wil Wheaton himself:
- Be honest.
- Be kind.
- Be honourable.
- Work hard.
- And always be awesome.
If you want to find out if you’re a dick or not, then click here to get a dick test.
As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with embracing the philosophy of ‘don’t be a dick’ in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, get push notifications for new articles by clicking the red bell icon in the bottom right corner.
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References
Hae, K. (2016). [Review of the book Don’t Be a Jerk: And Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan’s Greatest Zen Master—A Radical but Reverent Paraphrasing of Dogen’s Treasury of the True Dharma Eye, by Warner, B.]. Primary Point, 33(3), 23-25. Retrieved from https://joanmascaro.uib.cat/greenstone/sites/bdeo/collect/primaryPoint/index/assoc/PP_2016_/Vol_033_/Num_003_/p023.dir/PP_2016_Vol_033_Num_003_p023.pdf and https://joanmascaro.uib.cat/greenstone/sites/bdeo/collect/primaryPoint/import/volums/2016/PP_2016_Vol_033_Num_003.pdf.
This is brilliant. Imagine what a wonderful world we’d live in if everyone could just adopt this simple philosophy!
Indeed. Thanks for commenting
I think it is easier said than done but I am trying extra hard to be polite, even when people I work with are being lazy and unhelpful.
People can really push our buttons sometimes. But what’s important is that we all try to do better. Thanks for commenting
I love this post! The world would be such a better place if everyone minded their own business and were nice to one another. It’s a great philosophy for ourselves and other people. Thank you for sharing 🙂
And it’s not like it costs anything to be nice either. Thanks for commenting
Loved this! If it weren’t for HR’s issues with the word dick, I’d turn this article into a poster for the office break room!
An excellent article. Such a simple thing yet so many forget to do this. I think we should return to the old mantra that I was taught as a child growing up in the 80’s – if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all. I love this concept of don’t be a dick, it’s fun but also important, thank you.
That phrase certainly has its merits. Thanks for commenting
Haha, of all the things I thought I’d be reading today, this is for sure isn’t one of them. I hope the title captures a lot of attention.
I hope so too. Thanks for commenting
So good! Sometimes, the simple mottos have the most wisdom in them, don’t they? If people just used their empathy more and understanding the world would be a better place. Thanks for sharing this! Totally agree.
Indeed. Thanks for commenting
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Love it! I definitely know the phrase but had no idea of the origins! Such simple tips to implement too. It feels like the world is getting more angry and chaotic – we could do with a lot more people seeing your post! Thank you for sharing!
It certainly does feel like the world is getting angrier as politicians and the media fan the flames of hate and populism. Thanks for commenting