A photo of a Black man lost in the woods with their camping pack to represent the topic of the article - How Living With The Feeling Of Being Lost Leaves You Vulnerable

How Living With The Feeling Of Being Lost Leaves You Vulnerable

First off, no, I’m not talking about the TV show called ‘Lost’ which I’ve yet to watch the last series of. Although many people reading this article might be too young to know what the TV show ‘Lost’ is. Anyway, the feeling of being lost can be detrimental to our wellbeing, so I thought I’d explore this in my article today.

 

 

What Do I Mean By The Feeling Of Being Lost?

 

When you feel lost, you tend to feel disconnected from everything and everyone around you (Verywell Mind). Many life events and experiences, such as the loss of a loved one, setbacks, or losing your job, can lead to the feeling of being lost (BetterUp). It’s worth remembering that anyone can experience the feeling of being lost, even charismatic people and celebrities (LifeHack).

 

The feeling of being lost can also be called an ‘existential crisis’. This can lead to us questioning ourselves, feeling confused, a feeling of emptiness, and a lack of purpose (Ghilzai, Hussain and Batool, 2023).

 

When experiencing the feeling of being lost, you might wonder what the point of life is, as you lose your sense of purpose and direction (Verywell Mind), something akin to feeling stagnant (BetterUp). This feeling of being lost is also a feature of mental health conditions like depression.

 

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The Problem With The Feeling Of Being Lost?

 

The feeling of being lost is a part of the human experience. But life can sometimes give us more than we can handle. As the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours”, where a series of losses can appear to pile up (Harvey and Miller, 1998). Experiencing the feeling of being lost can affect us in a lot of ways. Below are examples of how this can affect us.

 

Decision-making

When you feel lost, it can be difficult to make decisions, big or small. You might lack a clear vision for your future, leading to hesitation and procrastination. This is how you can end up feeling stagnant (BetterUp).

 

Goal setting

More often than not, setting and pursuing goals requires a sense of direction. Feeling lost can make it challenging to establish said goals or the motivation to achieve them. Self-discipline can help, but if you’re lacking a reason for the goals, then this may not be enough. That’s because the uncertainty associated with feeling lost can zap your motivation and drive. Thus, you might struggle to find the energy to take initiative or pursue your passions.

 

Increased anxiety

It’s a common human experience to have a fear of the unknown, but when this is a result of feeling lost, it can be a breeding ground for anxiety. Feeling lost can lead to constant worry about the future and a lack of control over your life.

 

Depression

Just like the feeling of being lost can be a breeding ground for anxiety, so can it be for depression. It does that because the hopelessness associated with feeling lost can contribute to feelings of depression. You might experience low mood, loss of interest in activities and hobbies you once enjoyed, and social isolation.

 

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Reduced self-esteem

When the feeling of being lost results in you not knowing where you’re headed, it can affect your self-confidence. You might start questioning your abilities and worth, leading to a decline in self-esteem.

 

Predatory people

The feeling of being lost can leave you vulnerable in several ways. That’s because people who are “lost” are easier targets for predatory people, religions, cults, extreme thinking, conspiracy theories, and the like. Those who prey on vulnerable people might recognise your confusion and offer false guidance or opportunities that exploit your situation.

 

When I was struggling with trying to find a reason to live, to connect to something or someone, during my young adult years (when most people are already trying to define who they are as a person), I found myself dabbling with different religious ideas like Voodoo, Wiccan, and the Church of Satan. I also dabbled with conspiracy theories and UFOs. Although I do believe aliens exist in some form or other, simply because it seems statistically likely. I just no longer believe they’ve visited us and the government is hiding it from us.

 

Destructive choices

In an attempt to escape the feeling of being lost, you might resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse, risky behaviours, or impulsive decisions. I know I had a phase of abusing substances as a way to cope and to give me a reason to live.

 

Isolation and loneliness

The feeling of being lost can lead to social isolation. This withdrawal from others can make you more vulnerable, as you lack the support system that strong relationships provide. Furthermore, this will make you more vulnerable to predatory people. This is exactly how romance scams work.

 

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How To Overcome The Feeling Of Being Lost

 

Although the feeling of being lost is a part of the human experience, that doesn’t mean it’s always bad. There can be positives that come out of feeling this way. The following advice can help you find those positives.

 

Kindness

First off, it’s important to treat yourself with kindness, regardless of where the feeling of being lost might have come from. In fact, always be kind to yourself and others. So break out the self-care and remember, it’s perfectly ok to feel lost, it’s part of being alive.

 

Be patient

Along with being kind to yourself, it’s also important to be patient with yourself as well (BetterUp). Treat yourself as you would a one a loved one, as we often treat ourselves more harshly.

 

Reflection

When experiencing the feeling of being lost, it can be useful to ask yourself what’s wrong and why you’re feeling that way. This can also be a good journal prompt, allowing you to evaluate your needs and how your choices and environment are meeting those needs (Verywell Mind).

 

As existentialism states, looking deep into our own lives and asking questions such as “Why am I here?”, or “What is the purpose of my life?” can guide us to finding meaning in life (Ghilzai, Hussain and Batool, 2023).

 

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Opportunity for growth

The feeling of being lost can be a good opportunity for growth. This is backed by several influential theories in psychology that emphasise people’s search for meaning (Harvey and Miller, 1998).

 

Step outside your comfort zone and try new things. Take a class, volunteer, travel to a new place, or pursue a long-held hobby. New experiences can spark fresh perspectives and ignite your passions. Learning a new skill can also boost your confidence and open doors to new opportunities. The bonus of this is how it can give you a sense of accomplishment and progress.

 

Identify your strengths

It’s easy to focus on the things wrong in our lives when we’re experiencing the feeling of being lost. One way to avoid that is to spend time identifying your strengths and qualities.

 

To help with this, you can download my free ‘Strengths and Qualities’ worksheet by clicking here.

 

Social support network

If you have a social support network, then this can be a good time to use it. If you don’t have one yet, then this can be a good time to develop one. Sites like Meetup can be a good place to start.

 

The picture is split in two, with the top image being of a photo of a kids drawing looking for a lost cat, attached to a tree. The bottom image being of a Black man giving directions to two people in Central Station, New York. The two images are separated by the article title - How Living With The Feeling Of Being Lost Leaves You Vulnerable

 

Affirmations

Embrace positive psychology and try using some positive affirmations. There are many ways to use positive affirmations. You might want to write a new one each day or say one specific one out loud while looking in the mirror. Find a way to use positive affirmations that work for you.

 

Positivity journal

While on the topic of positive psychology, it can be useful to keep a positivity journal so you can refocus on your positives. We’re prone to developing cognitive biases that can cause us to overlook the positives, and this is a nice and easy way to stop that from happening.

 

Burn bridges

Sometimes we can feel lost because we have unhealthy people in our lives. If that’s the case for you, it might be worth reviewing those relationships, and deciding which you’ll get rid of, which you’ll keep, and which you’ll keep, but in a reduced capacity. A good way to manage the ones that you don’t burn bridges with is to work on your boundaries.

 

Review values

When the feeling of being lost presents itself, it can be useful to review your values. This will allow you to focus on the things you value in life, as defining and pursuing our own personal meaning in life can bring the biggest sense of happiness. So ask yourself, “What matters to you?” (PsychCentral), and I mean you, not what other people say should matter to you.

 

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Summary

 

Feeling lost is a common experience, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. There are many reasons why we might feel lost throughout our lives. But if we see this as a signal that something needs to change, then we can use this as a time to grow. By acknowledging these vulnerabilities, you can take steps to find your way again.

 

As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with the feeling of being lost in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, click the red bell icon in the bottom right corner to get push notifications for new articles.

 

Lastly, if you’d like to support my blog, then there are PayPal and Ko-fi donation payment options below. Until next time, Unwanted Life readers.

 

 

References

 

Harvey, J. H., & Miller, E. D. (1998). Toward a psychology of loss. Psychological Science9(6), 429-434. Retrieved from https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=2ba62adbc63e88036608501410badd33c8a75436 and https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-9280.00081.

Ghilzai, S. A., Hussain, A., & Batool, A. (2023). Exploring Existential crises in Nadeem Aslam’s Maps for Lost Lovers. Pakistan Journal of Social Research5(02), 8-16. Retrieved from https://pjsr.com.pk/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/2.-Vol.-5-No.-2-June-2023-Ghilzai-Hussain-Batool-Exploring-Existential-Crises.pdf.

4 thoughts on “How Living With The Feeling Of Being Lost Leaves You Vulnerable

  1. Feeling lost is such a delipadated state, it can be super scary. I recognize the symptoms you listed from the period in my life when I was jobless and living on benefits not seeing a way out of the situation… Thank goodness for family and friends when going through such periods! You shared some great tips here, thank you for sharing them 🙂
    Teresa Maria | Outlandish Blog

  2. This is a really great article, as usual! You’ve really outlined some of the top feelings people have and I love that you’ve provided actionable steps people can take. I think patience and kindness with yourself is so important. And I really love Meetup it’s a great way to meet new people I have used it a lot living abroad to connect with the community. Great post!

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