Good self-esteem is like gold dust nowadays. We all want high self-esteem, but it can be so hard to raise it to a healthy level, let alone maintain it at that healthy level. But I’ve got you covered. So why not check out this article and then check out my self-esteem workbook afterwards.
Disclosure: This article contains links to my Unwanted Life Shop. Read my full disclosure here.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem, in and of itself, doesn’t exist. It’s not something you can hold or find on a map, yet we all know what it is when someone says it. All self-esteem is is a construct that we and the social sciences use to quantify the sum of own or another person’s personality and attributes as an evaluation of one’s value, self-worth, and importance (Blascovich and Tomaka, 1991).
You’ll notice that I talk about healthy self-esteem in this article and my self-esteem workbook, and that’s for an excellent reason. There’s low self-esteem which my self-esteem workbook will help you work on, there’s healthy/high self-esteem which is the goal, but there’s also inflated self-esteem, which is bad.
Being overconfident can be risky in certain situations. Thinking your skill and abilities are massively greater than they actually are can cause you to take risks you shouldn’t. However, the ones we’re most likely familiar with are the versions of inflated egos at work that mimic the Peter Principle, where people’s skills elevate them to a position where they become incompetent. Accept, in this case, they didn’t even have those skills that got them into this position to start with.
As Exploring Your Mind put it, having excessively high self-esteem can lead to problematic behaviours and attitudes, making you think certain things are beneath you, that you’re entitled to things, and blinds you to mistakes you’re making. Mistakes that can cause people harm. Think Christopher Daniel Duntsch, aka Dr Death, the former neurosurgeon whose story was turned into a TV series by Peacock. Excellent series, I highly recommend it.
How Can Low Self-Esteem Affect Us?
Having low self-esteem can have a wide range of affects on our quality of life, with the obvious one being how it affects your mental wellbeing. Low self-esteem can stop us from taking on new experiences, cause us to avoid things that seem like a challenge, and cause us to avoid social situations. In the long term, this behaviour ends up reinforcing your underlying doubts and fears (NHS).
Shutting yourself away from social situations and new experiences can lead to a decline in your self-care, cause a growing feeling of hopelessness, and in certain situations, can lead to self-harm, eating disorders, and substance abuse.
Furthermore, the need for perfection is often born out of having low self-esteem. Because you feel inadequate, you feel everything you do is inadequate as well. Thus, people will try to overcompensate for that by trying to do everything perfectly, which is just an impossible goal to set yourself.
Not only that, low self-esteem can cause us to become people-pleasers, as we allow ourselves to endure unreasonable behaviours from the people in our lives, I know I have. Because we don’t love ourselves, we don’t think we’re worthy of love from others, while at the same time craving that love. This inner dilemma puts us at risk of being abused. It’s also the reason abusers seek to weaken your self-esteem little by little, so they can gain control over you.
The Self-Esteem Workbook
So how can the self-esteem workbook help you with your self-esteem? I hear you ask. Well, the self-esteem booster workbook features several important sections, all with an explanation of how that section can help your self-esteem. Plus, in each section you get a worksheet to complete, but don’t worry, I’ve also included a step-by-step guide of how to complete the worksheet, with examples.
The sections of the self-esteem workbook
Section one – Understanding self-esteem
The section will outline how you can build healthy self-esteem and outlines a common thinking error for people with low-self esteem. Then comes a step-by-step guide of how to fill in the worksheet for this section, which comes with examples to help avoid any confusion. After that, you get the worksheet to complete.
Section two – Self-labelling
In this section, you’ll learn about how unhealthy self-talk can be for your self-esteem. Following that comes the step-by-step guide of how to fill in the first worksheet for this section and its handy examples to help avoid any confusion. Then, you’ll get the worksheet to complete.
However, after that, there are instructions on how to complete the second worksheet in this section. Again, this comes with a walkthrough of how to complete the second worksheet with accompanying examples before you get a blank worksheet to fill in.
Section three – Accepting mistakes
Here the workbook talks about how chasing perfection can be a lost cause and how there’s nothing wrong with making mistakes. The workbook then walks you through how to complete the worksheet for this section, providing examples, before allowing you to complete your blank worksheet.
Section four – Accepting yourself
In this section, you learn about how you can build healthy self-esteem by learning to accept yourself and make improvements in ways that matter to you. Following that is the usual step-by-step guide, worksheet examples, and then your own blank worksheet to complete.
However, once you complete this exercise, you get another quick walkthrough and examples of how to complete the next worksheet in this section.
Section five – Daily reflection task
This section is a simple daily journaling task designed to build upon the work of the pervious sections. Again, this comes with a step-by-step guide with a completed example of the worksheet. Your own worksheets follow this so you can complete this journaling task.
Section six – Achievements
In this last section, the self-esteem workbook talks about how our sense of achievement can affect our self-esteem. Accompanying this are two exercises to finish, all packaged up with their guides and examples of how to complete this section.
Covers for the self-esteem workbook
There’s two choices of covers, for no other reason than why not.
If you’d like to check out the self-esteem workbook over on my store, and maybe even buy it, you can do so by clicking here.
As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, feel free to share your experiences with having low self-esteem and using a self-esteem workbook in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget to bookmark my site and if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, get push notifications for new articles by clicking the red bell icon in the bottom right corner.
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Unwanted Life readers.
Blascovich, J. & Tomaka, J. (1991). Measures of self-esteem. John P. R., Phillip R. S., and Lawrence S. W. (Eds), Measures of personality and social psychological attitudes: Volume 1 in measures of social psychology attitudes series, (pp. 115-160). London: Elsevier. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1016/C2013-0-07551-2 and http://pdf.xuebalib.com:1262/xuebalib.com.43624.pdf.