Self-care isn’t meant to be about surviving; it’s about going beyond survival. If all life were about doing the bare minimum to live, then that would be a shame. Fortunately, we’re not living in caves anymore, and we can do more than just going beyond survival. We can flourish.
Beyond Survival: What Is Self-Care
According to Martínez, Connelly, Pérez, and Calero (2021), the concept of self-care has evolved thanks to various social movements, such as women’s movements. These movements helped develop what we now consider self-care.
Self-care involves a range of activities that we purposely engage in throughout our lives (not just when we’re burning out) that support our mental, physical, and emotional health, as well as help us maintain our lives (Godfrey et al., 2011).
This can be further broken down into two main types of self-care, which are personal self-care and professional self-care (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013). Personal self-care is basically what I just said above, where we independently perform activities that help us take better care of ourselves.
Professional self-care is about strategies specifically to mitigate the harm caused by our professional lives, such as for a therapist who might be experiencing burnout and compassion fatigue. Such professional self-care might be to have regular supervision with our line manager, practice self-reflection, and work on our relationships within the company.
It’s extremely important for people in healthcare settings to adequately look after their psychological wellness via self-care, as it can help healthcare professionals experiencing impaired professional functioning (Barnett, Baker, Elman, and Schoener, 2007).
It’s also important to remember that an over-reliance on self-care to resist distress can be problematic in and of itself (Bressi and Vaden, 2017). That’s because sometimes we need to do something about the source of distress, such as talking to our manager about changing our work situation or reducing our caseload. Self-care is important, but it’s not a cure-all.
Simply put, self-care has two general aims. To protect us or manage stress and other negative states and to enhance our wellbeing and overall functioning (Butler, Mercer, McClain-Meeder, Horne, and Dudley, 2019). Put another way, it’s the act of treating ourselves with a caring attitude, i.e. kindness (Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller, 2024).
Even the covid pandemic has shown us just how significant a role self-care plays in lessening the risk of disease and saving lives (Martínez, Connelly, Pérez, and Calero, 2021). Wearing masks and engaging in social distancing made a huge difference in how the pandemic played out. Although that might not seem like self-care, it very much was.
The Benefits Of Going Beyond Survival With Our Self-Care
Self-care is often thought of as something that we do only when we are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. However, self-care is actually an important part of maintaining overall wellbeing and can be beneficial in all aspects of our lives. As I said, self-care is about going beyond survival.
A common issue among parents and people in caring roles that I’ve supported is how easily caregivers dismiss their own self-care, but that comes at a cost. This is basically why I end up supporting such people in therapy. Caregiving is a heavy burden, no matter the context (Van Roij et al., 2021).
This is supported by Pearson and Wilson (2024), who state that an underlying theme in all counselling practices is the issue of self-care or lack thereof.
Increased focus and productivity
In a professional setting, proper usage of self-care can increase job engagement and satisfaction (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013). If we’re no longer feeling satisfied with work, especially if we once were, then it might be worth reflecting on what the cause of that might be and if engaging in more self-care would be beneficial. The same is true in our personal setting as well.
Resilience
A great way to build resilience is to have a good self-care routine. A study by Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller (2024) found that medical students with high levels of resilience were engaging in more self-care actions. Such actions were stress management and working on their interpersonal relationships. Social support networks are important and can be part of your self-care routine.
Both Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller (2024) and Sanchez-Reilly et al. (2013) found that self-care helped reduce the risk of burnout.
This is also supported by a study by Van Roij et al. (2021) on the caregiving of family members, as they supported loved ones getting cancer treatment, which had 746 participants from 40 participating hospitals. They found that higher self-care engagement and resilience are associated with lower caregiver burden.
Improved mood and energy levels
A literature review by Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller (2024) found that engaging in self-care promoted an upward spiral of wellbeing, meaning it helped avoid a downward spiral of stress and burnout. Also, the better our mood is, the more energetic we’re likely to feel. Everything takes more effort when our moods are low.
Better sleep
Engaging in self-care helps us better manage our sleep, meaning we should be getting better sleep than if we neglect our self-care.
Stronger relationships
A proper investment in our self-care would mean spending time with our friends and family, meaning we’ll develop stronger and more satisfying social support networks.
Greater self-esteem and self-confidence
Engaging in self-care is not only good for us on a more obvious level of better mental wellbeing, but it can also help improve our self-esteem and self-confidence because it takes boundaries to engage in self-care.
How To Incorporate Self-Care Into Your Daily Life So You Can Go Beyond Survival
To make self-care go beyond survival. It requires a commitment to our wellbeing being a priority (Butler, Mercer, McClain-Meeder, Horne, and Dudley, 2019). This makes self-care an important part of our maintenance, like brushing our teeth is for a healthy mouth. Integrating self-care activities into our daily lifestyle has been shown to improve our health and quality of life (Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller, 2024).
Spend time in nature
Spending time in nature is a great way to support our wellbeing, which is backed up substantially by research, whether it’s green or blue spaces (water). Even having plants in your house, real or not, can be beneficial to our wellbeing. However, to make this part of our self-care, we’re going beyond survival. It requires more purposeful effort in enjoying nature. Thus, go for walks in the local woods, have a picnic in the park, or take up gardening.
Practice relaxation techniques
There are several relaxation techniques we could use, such as breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga. Find what works for us and incorporate that into our lives, so it becomes a regular part of our self-care routine.
Physical health
Engaging in regular exercise (Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller, 2024; and Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013), maintaining a nutritious diet, getting adequate sleep, and attending routine check-ups contribute to having good physical health.
One way to make exercise easier to maintain and avoid boredom is to add an element of variety to it, either planned or more randomly. You could create a list of exercises, give them a number, and use a number generator or dice to pick what exercises you’ll do that day.
When it comes to eating, creating an eating schedule and using a meal planner can make it easier to maintain a more balanced lifestyle with food.
Emotional wellbeing
Practising mindfulness (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013), meditation, journaling, or seeking therapy even when not in crisis can help manage stress and foster emotional resilience. That’s because we deserve to go beyond survival mode.
Journaling
As mentioned, journaling can be a great self-care activity that will help us go beyond survival, as it helps us increase self-awareness via this reflective writing approach (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013). But it doesn’t have to be written; you could do a video or audio journal if that’s more your thing.
Mental stimulation
Continuous learning has several benefits, not just for our wellbeing, but for our health as well. We’re never too old to learn something new. We can also benefit from reading for pleasure, solving puzzles, and engaging in hobbies (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013) and creative activities, as these will also contribute to mental stimulation and growth.
Social connections
Nurturing old and new relationships is important. Therefore, make spending time with loved ones and connecting with friends and family a part of your self-care routine (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013), and go beyond survival, as they are essential for our social wellbeing.
We can also tap into that social support network when we need to seek support (Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller, 2024) and share our self-care plans with them so they can support our efforts (Butler, Mercer, McClain-Meeder, Horne, and Dudley, 2019). Even better if people from our social support network are willing to join us in some of our activities, like going to the gym or going for walks. It’s always nice to have company.
Even in a work setting, we can expand our social support network to include creating a network of peers and mentors (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013) and having regular supervision (Bressi and Vaden, 2017).
Boundaries
Learning to say “no”, setting boundaries, and managing workload or commitments prevent burnout and will support a balanced lifestyle. Learning to say “no” when we want to say “no” is probably the most important skill any of us can learn, but it can also be hard to learn. Starting small with trivial requests is a good place to start when learning to say “no”.
Taking time to work out what our boundaries are can be a good journaling activity because if we don’t know what our boundaries are, how are we going to protect our wellbeing?
Enjoying leisure time
If you’re lucky enough to get annual leave (paid vacations), don’t let it go to waste (Sanchez-Reilly et al., 2013). They’re more valuable than gold. Our body and mind will thank us for using our full allowance. Also, taking breaks, enjoying hobbies, spending time outdoors, and engaging in activities purely for enjoyment contribute to overall happiness and quality of life.
Personal development
Engaging in activities that promote personal growth, such as goal setting, self-reflection, or learning new skills, fosters continuous development and a sense of achievement.
Schedule
Scheduling time for self-care is important (Butler, Mercer, McClain-Meeder, Horne, and Dudley, 2019) because it prevents us from dismissing our self-care or procrastinating over it. Putting it into our calendars works as a commitment to engage in our self-care, which helps make our self-care go beyond survival.
Non-negotiable
Make self-care a non-negotiable part of our schedule. This is why having boundaries is important, because we’ll need boundaries to keep us doing our self-care as well.
Kindness
Self-care isn’t just about helping us avoid burnout or to help us when we’re struggling. Sometimes, it’s just nice to be nice to ourselves. Don’t feel guilty for taking time for ourselves, as we deserve to treat ourselves with kindness.
When creating a list of personal go-to self-care interventions, we could also make a list of just nice self-care stuff we could do for ourselves, just because. In fact, write them all down on a lollipop stick, put them into a pot, and just pick one out to do every couple of days. Or write a list out and give each a number, then roll a die to pick one.
Sleep hygiene
Getting adequate sleep is one of the most important things we can do. Take it from me, who has never had adequate sleep, and from Michael, Schujovitzky, and Karnieli-Miller (2024) and Sanchez-Reilly et al. (2013), who talk about how important it is to our self-care.
Reviewing
Ongoing maintenance of our self-care also requires tracking how our self-care is going, so we can see what’s working for us and what isn’t, and make adjustments accordingly (Butler, Mercer, McClain-Meeder, Horne, and Dudley, 2019).
Summary
Self-care that goes beyond survival is about creating habits and routines that prioritise holistic wellbeing. Allowing us to maintain a sense of balance, fulfilment, and resilience throughout various life circumstances, whether challenging or positive. Regular self-care helps us better navigate life’s ups and downs, promotes a healthier lifestyle, and helps us lead a better quality of life.
Self-care is not only about managing or coping with difficult situations; it’s also about fostering overall wellbeing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It encompasses practices that contribute to physical, emotional, mental, and social health, promoting a balanced and fulfilling life. Self-care involves various activities and habits that support wellbeing, even during good times.
Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it is a necessity. By taking care of ourselves, we are investing in our overall health and wellbeing.
Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Find what works for us. What works for one person may not work for another. The most important thing is to find what helps us feel our best and to make it a regular part of our lives. And if you decide to give Lego or Warhammer a try as part of your self-care to go beyond survival, let me know.
As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences with going beyond survival when it comes to self-care in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, you can sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, click the red bell icon in the bottom right corner to get push notifications for new articles.
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References
Barnett, J. E., Baker, E. K., Elman, N. S., & Schoener, G. R. (2007). In pursuit of wellness: The self-care imperative. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 38(6), 603a. Retrieved from https://sasheducationcampus.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/in-pursuit-of-wellness.pdf.
Bressi, S. K., & Vaden, E. R. (2017). Reconsidering self care. Clinical Social Work Journal, 45(1), 33-38. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10615-016-0575-4.
Butler, L. D., Mercer, K. A., McClain-Meeder, K., Horne, D. M., & Dudley, M. (2019). Six domains of self-care: Attending to the whole person. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 29(1), 107-124. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dana-Horne/publication/330232181_Six_domains_of_self-care_Attending_to_the_whole_person/links/60283642a6fdcc37a824e857/Six-domains-of-self-care-Attending-to-the-whole-person.pdf.
Godfrey, C. M., Harrison, M. B., Lysaght, R., Lamb, M., Graham, I. D., & Oakley, P. (2011). Care of self–care by other–care of other: The meaning of self‐care from research, practice, policy and industry perspectives. International Journal of Evidence‐Based Healthcare, 9(1), 3-24. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-1609.2010.00196.x.
Martínez, N., Connelly, C. D., Pérez, A., & Calero, P. (2021). Self-care: A concept analysis. International Journal of Nursing Sciences, 8(4), 418-425. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352013221000880.
Michael, K., Schujovitzky, D., & Karnieli-Miller, O. (2024). The associations between resilience, self-care, and burnout among medical students. PloS One, 19(9), e0309994. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0309994.
Pearson, M., & Wilson, H. (2024). Guiding clients towards self-kindness and acceptance: Wrestling with the inner critic. Psychotherapy and Counselling Journal of Australia, 12(2). Retrieved from https://pacja.org.au/article/123356-guiding-clients-towards-self-kindness-and-acceptance-wrestling-with-the-inner-critic.
Sanchez-Reilly, S., Morrison, L. J., Carey, E., Bernacki, R., O’Neill, L., Kapo, J., Periyakoil, V. S., & Thomas, J. D. (2013). Caring for oneself to care for others: physicians and their self-care. The Journal of Supportive Oncology, 11(2), 75. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3974630/pdf/nihms-568154.pdf.
Van Roij, J., Brom, L., Sommeijer, D., van de Poll-Franse, L., Raijmakers, N., & eQuiPe Study Group. (2021). Self-care, resilience, and caregiver burden in relatives of patients with advanced cancer: results from the eQuiPe study. Supportive Care in Cancer, 29(12), 7975-7984. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s00520-021-06365-9.pdf.