There was a video game store in my hometown where I lived in the 90s that started stocking Warhammer and Warhammer 40K sets. They also created a space where people could come and compete against each other. This was where my love story with Warhammer and Warhammer 40K started.
Escape
I fell into Warhammer and Warhammer 40K quite hard, although none of my friends who lived on my street got into it. Luckily, I soon made other friends while attending the gatherings at the store in town. As a people-pleaser, it was unusual to go against what my friends liked, but for some reason, I didn’t care. I guess it was the thought of braving battles like this in my imagination that helped create an escape for me.
Maybe I was really desperate to find some kind of escape from my life, as I battled with my ongoing identity crisis, and this helped to scratch that itch. Whatever the reason, I loved playing Warhammer and Warhammer 40K, although I always found Warhammer 40K more fun, as you didn’t have to go through the hassle of moving your units in formation.
This was the phase of my life where I was constantly dealing with racism in one form or another, but that didn’t seem to matter when playing Warhammer or Warhammer 40K. I guess building armies based on a species you choose helps get around the idea of racism being appealing. But that’s just a guess on my part.
I believe that Warhammer and Warhammer 40K did a lot to protect my mental health that went beyond just playing the game. I can certainly understand why so many people have some reverence for all that is Games Workshop.
Creativity
When it came to Warhammer, I was all about the Orcs and Goblins. I loved them so much that I’d try to create my own Orc Warboss, creating their backstories and stats. Although I never used them in a game. But by far, the reason I loved this army was for the Night Goblin Fanatics. Total chaos. It also helped that they were just so different from all the other options.
My painting skills of the figures got good enough that one of my friends would pay me to paint their models, which was a nice addition to my pocket money. I also took pride in the bases I’d create for my figures, as mentioned in my grimdark positive perspective on wellbeing article on my main blog.
Money
I spent a lot of money on buying Games Workshop figures. I also bought my own scenery pieces when the video games shop that got me into Warhammer and Warhammer 40K was getting rid of them. My mum helped me build a tabletop for them in our spare small bedroom, where I could have it all set up and play a game whenever I liked. It was quite an investment.
When my nana died, and my granddad gave all his children and his children’s children £1k as an inheritance, I spent pretty much all of it on it in the Games Workshop store in our nearby city. When I would later go on to be arrested for drug possession, I’d used these accounts as evidence that I hadn’t been selling drugs.
I stated in my trial that I had taken my inheritance out and loaned it to help friends, and when they were eventually able to pay me back, I feared putting the money in my account as I was on benefits and I didn’t want that to be confused for benefit fraud. I was on disability benefits at the time, as this was when I was struggling with psychosis every day.
Hobby
I think it’s really important to have a hobby and interest that you can lose yourself in, and I threw myself into my Warhammer and Warhammer 40K hobby like it was the last hobby available. I really loved this hobby, and I miss playing it, as when I moved out of home, I no longer had the space for any of it. That’s the problem when you have to live in shared accommodation.
I also loved playing the first Space Hulk game, which bucked the trend for me, as I hate playing games that use the first-person perspective. The other video game I remember playing from my childhood was Warhammer: Shadow of the Horned Rat.
It’s these two games and the rekindling of my love for the Warhammer and Warhammer 40K universes that’s got me considering getting a gaming PC so I can play Total War: Warhammer, 1, 2, and 3. It’s also got me wanting to find out what the latest Space Hulk games are like as well.
My childhood with Warhammer and Warhammer 40K, engaging in a hobby I was so invested in, was a rare moment of joy in my life. And although for a while, people were often embarrassed to admit to liking board games like this, I never was.
But it’s great to see that board games and Games Workshop are part of the mainstream. So check out your local Warhammer and Warhammer 40K retailer, or go check out a board game cafe, as there are lots of them about nowadays.
If you’d like to check out my companion piece on Warhammer on my main blog, you can do so by clicking here.