Tips For Maintaining A Relationship: According To Twitter

Tips For Maintaining A Relationship: According To Twitter

It’s that time again when I go to Twitter for advice on a subject. This time the subject was: tips for maintaining a relationship when one of you is suffering from a mental health condition (Tips For Maintaining A Relationship: According To Twitter).

 

This is my third post where I gathered advice from people on Twitter, if you want to read the other two you can find them at the following:

 

Advice For Supporting Someone With Mental Health Problems As Suggested By Twitter

Healthy Coping Strategies And Rewards As Suggested By Twitter

 

The question I asked Twitter people this time was:

 

What tips/advice do you have for maintaining a healthy romantic relationship if one, or both, people suffer from mental health problems?

 

Just a heads up, for this post I’ll be talking about partners as partner(s), so that I can account for relationships that have more than just two people. I’ve had friends that have been in a trouple, and want to make sure others like them feel included.

 

The following is the advice suggested by people on Twitter, followed by a summary of the advice. I hope you find them useful.

 

1.

@Survivor_John7 was the first to reply with some very useful insights on maintaining a healthy relationship.

 

Be honest about how you feel.
Respect boundaries.
Know trigger signs.
Take a timeout.
#SelfCare
Do it your way.
Understand their will be bad days.
Silent does not mean moody.

https://twitter.com/Survivor_John7/status/1123491976379346944?s=19

 

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2.

Relationship advice offered from someone talking from experience came from @PinksterC_87.

 

I’ve found always being honest no matter,what brings you closer & gives for a better understanding of both partners limitations,so that noone has to walk around on egg shells & can then focus on maintaining eachothers individual versions of healthy romance. Communication is key

 

 

3.

As people often say, and @Andrina_sleep, honesty is the best policy.

 

Oh gosh ummm my one main rule is honesty, no matter how horrible it is!!

 

 

4.

@Ebzo also replied to this relationship tweet thread with some sound advice. I know my partner must have a lot of patience with me.

 

Patience, definitely – which leads on nicely from honesty. You can be honest with the best intentions, but if the other person isn’t patient and doesn’t listen to reason – you’ll just argue and become secretive.

 

https://twitter.com/Ebzo/status/1123980461565513728?s=

 

5.

A third person, @rachaelk321, joined in on the same tweet thread, offering three good rules to live by.

 

3 simple things that I use as my guiding principles and are necessary for me to have any successful relationship including with myself.

Honestly, Respect and Open & clear communication.

 

 

6.

A short reply with useful relationship advice suggestions came from @KimyLeatherwood.

 

Patience and understanding

 

 

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7.

@Beautyofmychao1 suggest we all make time to enjoy the little things and the things we find fun with our partners.

 

Do something you both like when you’re having a good day! I’m the one with anxiety, and my hubby always encourages me to go hill walking with him. He like that and I like being in nature. It works wonders for me and our marriage!

 

 

8.

@Allformyself1 provided their relationship advice, which I summarised for them to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood what they’d said. 

 

I have issues and my finance doesn’t admit to any. So for me I have to really keep my focus on things that bring me joy and what my big picture is. I can easily slip into depression and i express it through anger. I watch and listen to a LOT of comedy.

 

 

Yes way to sum that up much better than I did!!!

 

 

9.

One of the key points @SpeakingBipolar made about relationships was that being able to laugh and cry together is important. Laughter is also the best medicine, or so they say,

 

Like any relationship, communication is key. Both parties have to be willing to be open and honest. Laugh together, cry together.

 

 

10.

@ToFeelFantastic was kind enough to offer not only a tweeted reply about relationships but also a more detailed DM with some advice.

 

Great question! The short answer is self-awareness, communication and supporting each other with a mutual goal for wellbeing. The longer answer is in a DM to you for the blog, and the full answer is in my book How To Feel Fantastic. 🙂

 

 

The DM contained the following advice:

 

Hi. Great question. A major factor is self awareness, a theme of my book, How To Feel Fantastic. Being aware of your own symptoms, triggers, thought patterns, etc. and communicating with your partner about them helps you to understand yourself and each other. Of course, it depends on the mental health issue, but with many, such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar, it can be easy to blame a partner for anger or frustration, whereas self-awareness would mean that instead, we would tell them how we felt, but recognise it was ourself we needed to work on. (Of course if there is a problem you need to address with your partner that’s another matter!) As for how to work on yourself, much of the advice in my book contributes to helping people reduce or cope with many mental health issues, for example using CBT to train your mind, and less obvious factors such as healthy eating and fresh air contributing to not just physical but mental health too. If you’re in a relationship, supporting each other with a mutual goal for wellness is ideal because then you can work on it together

 

11.

A new one to the list, forgiveness, was put forward by @lovemetreatme. As they say, “To err is human, to forgive divine”.

 

Having patience and being mindful. Doing activities together to increase your bond with said person. Forgiveness, acceptance.

 

 

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12.

Some important relationship advice was suggested by @ANewDawn_AA. No amount of advice and tips will help maintain a relationship if you’re in the wrong type of relationship.

 

1st- make sure that you’re right for each other, Love, acceptance, understanding.
I’m not a relationship expert, but communication is essential.

 

 

13.

Advice that can both apply to friends and lovers alike, came from @gunthilde_zoll. Although, saying that, all the advice in this post can be applied to both lovers, friends, and family.

 

Enjoy the good times you have together. Try to support each other in darker hours. As all couples and friends do…

 

 

14.

@SophieLSkidmore made a good point: the more you understand about each other the better equipped you are to support each other.

 

Communication. Being open and explaining the mental health problem is a good start. The more you understand about each other the better. If you know and understand a little more you can provide better support 😊 It’s also important for the person supporting to be supported too

 

 

15.

@Liseyonline‘s tweet might be short, but it’s important. Having your own space, and that space being respected is an important part of a healthy relationship. Both you and your partner(s) should be able to have time apart, whether it be due to self-care, so they can catch up with their friends, or having fun doing the stuff they find interesting.

 

Respect space when it’s necessary

 

 

16.

A couple of useful replies came from @Tinkableeblog in regards to advice for maintaining a healthy relationship.

 

Communication is a BIG key.

You need to communicate when one or both of you aren’t feel great that day.

I’ve often tried hiding my dark emotions from my boyfriend in the hopes that he wouldn’t have to deal with then too but it leaves strain on the relationship. Just open up

 

 

Also having patience helps a lot.

Mental health takes a lot of patience, it can really make you frustrated

Sometimes your partner isn’t going to understand why they are so down, you just have to be patient &be there for them.

Silent support is sometimes the best support

 

 

17.

Last, but by no means least, @HorriblyHuman, who made a good point about working together in your relationship to help each other get what you need.

 

A partnership can be made stronger when you have to endure mutual hardship. If you work as advocates for each other, you’ll have the best of both of your abilities to move through the tough stuff

 

 

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Summary

 

So what’s the takeaway from the responses? Well, just like any relationship, whether someone has a mental health condition or not, there are things you can do to make the relationship healthy.

 

Communication and honesty are key aspects of a healthy relationship. You can’t really have one without the other. For a relationship to work best for all involved, being open and honest about your own needs and talking through ways to be there for each other will make a big difference.

 

Obviously, in order to make that work, you also need patience and understanding. Talking about what your needs are and how to make accommodations for each other can take time, and you might not understand why they need what they need. Thus, allowing yourselves the time for this understanding to grow as well as allowing yourselves the time to talk and work on your relationship is important. Not everything can be done overnight.

 

As @Tinkableeblog shared, you can’t hide your dark emotions from your partner(s), at least not without it harming the relationship anyway. So be honest when you talk to your partner(s) if you want your relationship to be healthy.

 

One of the more important bits of advice for those in a relationship where one or more have a mental health condition is self-care. All involved need to not only make sure the person(s) with the mental health condition(s) is getting the support they need but also that everyone knows how to look after themselves. Thus, creating a self-care plan for yourselves (which you could do together), will help reduce stress and avoid burnout in the relationship.

 

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Remember, it’s also important to be able to have fun. Make time to do something fun together, but also allow your partner(s) to have fun without you.

 

An important part of all this is also setting boundaries. You can’t really do self-care without boundaries. Basically, boundaries are the guidelines of how you expect others to treat you, in order to help you to be mentally well. So when you’re talking honestly with your partner(s) of what you need or want from your relationship, you could also use that exchange to discuss everyone’s boundaries.

 

Forgiveness can also play an important role in a healthy relationship: if the person is being sincere in their seeking of forgiveness. Obviously, forgiving your partner(s) also depends on what they’ve done, as well as being sincere in seeking forgiveness. Choosing to forgive your partner(s) can stop the festering of negative thoughts and feelings that’ll undermine your relationship (and make you feel terrible).

 

However, none of this will matter if you’re in the wrong relationship (@ANewDawn_AA). So with that said, I thought I’d list some of the red flags for domestic abuse, which by no means is this the full list of red flags (please seek help if you think you might be suffering from domestic abuse):

 

Red Flags

Accuses you of having an affair.

Your partner(s) expect you to spend all of your time with them or to “check in” with them and let them know where you are all the time.

Equating jealousy with love, so if your partner(s) is jealous, it could be a warning sign of future problems.

An abuser will attribute controlling behaviours to concern for the victim.

Being made to feel guilty for wanting to slow the pace of the relationship or wanting to end the relationship.

Your partner(s) never take the blame for anything and blame everyone else for things that go wrong or their own shortcomings.

Constantly being put down by your partner(s), which can also happen in front of friends and family. Causing you to have low self-esteem mean you’re less likely to leave them (all part of their mind games).

Takes control of your money and/or puts you on an allowance.

Interfears in your work. This might mean you can’t work the job you want or not being allowed to work with certain people.

Feeling dread or that you have to walk on eggshells.

If your thoughts and opinions are treated as insignificant.

Breaking things when angry. domestic abuse doesn’t have to be causing physical harm to you, but can also be a show of violence in which to intimidate and threaten you.

 

So that’s the end of my post, and as always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, feel free to share your relationship experiences and/or advice in the comments section below as well. If you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up to my below. Lastly, if you’d like to support my blog then you can make a donation of any size below also. Until next time, Unwanted Life readers.

 

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Further Information

 

4 Ways to Set and Keep Your Personal Boundaries

Knowing your limits. What are boundaries, and why are they important?

Victim Support

Abusive Cycle

 

Support

 

24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline UK

0808 2000 247

Scotland’s Domestic Abuse And Forced Marriage Helpline

0800 027 1234

helpline@sdafmh.org.uk

Refuge UK

Women’s Aid UK

Men’s Advice Line UK

Monday – Friday 9am-5pm 0808 801 0327

info@mensadviceline.org.uk

ManKind Initiative GB

Weekdays 10am-4pm 01823 334244

List Of Domestic Violence Hotlines – a short list of hotlines for other parts of the world

 

Please feel free to add any information about other domestic abuse hotlines and websites in the comments below.

 

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4 thoughts on “Tips For Maintaining A Relationship: According To Twitter

  1. I LOVE this.

    I really like how you’ve gathered everyone’s responses together and formed the bigger picture – that it’s not just one thing, it’s alot of little things interlaced to make relationships work. I also love that you interpreted my tweet in exactly the way it was meant to be. As an introvert, I need time to myself to recharge and to feel like myself again, so it’s important that my partner respects my needs.

    Well done.

    I can’t wait for the next twitter-based post 🙂

    – Lisey

  2. Great post! is such a good idea to know more about the relationship, they have so many point and tips. i enjoy to reading this x
    thank you for making me a happy day

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