Onward: A Fatherly Quest

Onward: A Fatherly Quest

Given that Father’s Day is almost upon us (21st June), I thought I’d discuss and review the firm Onward. So strap in and prepare for insights into fathers and father figures.

 

Storyline

 

Set in a suburban fantasy world, two teenage elf brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot, go on a journey to discover if there is still a little magic left out there in order to spend one last day with their father, who died when they were too young to remember him. Like any good quest, their journey is filled with magic spells, cryptic maps, impossible obstacles and unimaginable discoveries. But when the boys’ fearless mom Laurel realizes her sons are missing, she teams up with a part-lion, part-bat, part-scorpion, former warrior — aka The Manticore — and heads off to find them. Perilous curses aside, this one magical day could mean more than any of them ever dreamed

IMDb

 

This is your last chance to avoid spoilers if you’ve not watched the film yet. You’ve been warned.

 

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Spoilers Ahead

 

The story, or quest, to meet their dad, is pretty epic, but the love they all seem to have for each other, makes the film a classic that will tug on your heartstrings.

 

An opportunity arrives that means Ian Lightfoot will get to see his father, and allowing him to do everything he wrote in his to-do list if he ever got to meet him.

 

Watching a film about two elves desperately trying to see there departed dad again, for just one day, really hits home with me. I can’t imagine going on a dangerous quest to see my father when my father had zero interest in my existence, which is especially hard to take given that he regularly sees my half-sister (the only one out of many half-siblings that I know).

 

Ian Lightfoot’s realisation that all the to-do list moments he wanted to have with his dad, should he ever get to see him, he had had with his big brother. It would have been nice to have had that kind of closeness and family connection with my parents or half-siblings, but I never did. Thanks to having BPD, I can’t even have that connection with anyone at all.

 

The final acceptance of their stepfather that rounds off Onward was also a nice touch. Onward really hits you from all angles with it comes to the family structure and family love.

 

Onward: A Fatherly Quest

 

The Family Research

 

According to Behere, Basnet, and Campbell (2017), there’s a lot of evidence which points to the disadvantages of being from a single-parent family when compared to the traditional family (whatever that’s meant to mean nowadays). However, these issues could be influenced by economic difficulties that often come with raising a family as a lone parent, which will understandably place extra stress on the lone parent.

 

So before you go writing off single-parent families, remember that even two-parent families can be harmful to the mental wellbeing of the children. According to the Office for National Statistics (2019), children from families that struggle to function well have a higher rate of mental health issues than those from healthy functioning families. In simple terms, if you’re from a family that is staying together for the children and argue a lot, there’s a likely chance you’re doing more harm to the children than if you separated but both have a mutual and healthy co-parenting relationship instead.

 

A study that fits the film’s family dynamic, although not perfectly (I’ll let you be the judge of that), comes from Manning and Lamb (2003). They found that teens living in cohabiting stepfamilies experience greater disadvantage than those from married stepfamilies, but they also found that teens living with single unmarried mothers are similar to those with cohabiting stepparents.

 

Furthermore, disruptions to the family structure can lead to adverse events impacting both the mental health of children and their parents (Behere, Basnet, and Campbell, 2017). This goes to show just how complex family dynamics can be. It also suggests that a stable single-parent family structure should have less adverse effects on the children, than a dysfunctional two-parent family.

 

What would be interesting to see is how children from single-parent families who have always had just the one parent, compared to single-parent families that are a result of separation after the children are born, where they are old enough to remember the breakup.

 

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My Onward Family Experience

 

Yes, we were poor, needing government assistance to keep a roof over our heads, but not enough to be able to have the heating on in the winter. We also had to use a Foodbank and heavily relied on my grandad growing vegetables and biking across town to drop them off for us every Friday evening. That man, my grandad, was my dad, as he was always there for us (What Makes A Father On Fatherโ€™s Day?). This poverty, which made life hard, wasn’t what ruined my mental health.

 

People seem to assume that if you’re from a single-parent family that you’re automatically going to have issues, but that isn’t necessarily the case. My lack of a biological father in my life was never a problem for me, my problem was years and years of sustained racist abuse and a lack of support from my mother (neglect). If it wasn’t for that, I would have never developed the problems I did and I would have been a completely different person.

 

Being from a single-parent family in an of itself isn’t to blame for the struggles, it’s the extra stress and pressure that comes with it that creates the problems. Even more so if you’re a black person in a white family in and an almost all-white town.

 

I never had a father in my life so I could never miss what I didn’t have. Thus, people from families where the parents break up might have a harder time than those that were never parenting together in the first place.

 

Much like in Onward, I tried to reach out to my biological father in order to form a relationship. However, unlike in Onward, my attempts didn’t have a happy ending(?), because it didn’t work out. Both my parents share the blame on why, but I gave up trying to create a relationship with my sperm donor of a father because he clearly wasn’t interested.

 

My dad would stop coming to see me around my birthday and Christmas to avoid having to get me anything. When he did visit, he was only really interested in seeing my mum, even though he was living with his partner and some of his other kids.

 

One time, my dad paid for me and a friend to go to the cinema (so he could be alone with my mum), and when I came back I was greeted by my dad walking down the front garden path and my mum screaming at him to never come back, and he never did.

 

I was 14 the last time I saw my dad, and I never bothered to make contact with him again because he never had any interest in seeing me in the first place. He also never made any attempt to contact me again after that day either.

 

What makes this all worse was that not only did my dad show me that he never cared about seeing me or getting to know me, my mum became my dad’s bit on the side, with my mum only caring about having that relationship with my dad, and not about the relationship between my dad and I.

 

As I said in ‘Happy Mother’s Day?‘ post, my mother has never cared about my emotional needs, and she showed that again when I tried to establish a relationship with my dad.

 

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Onward Review

 

I originally never planned to watch the film, as I judged the film by its cover and it didn’t appeal to me. But I’m glad I took the time to watch it in the end, as it really hit me in the feels.

 

The film helped to highlight what I said in my Father’s Day post last year, that anyone can be your father figure, it doesn’t have to be your biological dad, which the big brother character, Barley Lightfoot, helped hammer home.

 

One thing I would really like to know about the Onward and the older brother character, Barley Lightfoot; was he based on Jack Black, or rather his on-screen persona which he’s best known for? Which also begs the question, why wasn’t Jack Black the voice of the character that seems to be Jack Black?

 

Anyway, I recommend watching this Onward over Father’s Day with your dad, stepdad, foster dad, grandad, big brother, or whoever else felt like a father to you.

 

I give this film 4/5 stars.

 

4 star review

 

As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, feel free to share your thoughts on the film and/or your relationships with your father or father figure in the comments section below as well. If you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up to my newsletter below. Alternatively, get push notifications of new posts by clicking the red bell icon in the bottom left corner.

 

Lastly, if youโ€™d like to support my blog then you can make a donation of any size below as well. Until next time, Unwanted Life readers.

 

 

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References

 

Behere, A. P., Basnet, P., & Campbell, P. (2017). Effects of Family Structure on Mental Health of Children: A Preliminary Study. Indian journal of psychological medicine39(4), 457โ€“463. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.4103/0253-7176.211767

Manning, W. D., & Lamb, K. A. (2003). Adolescent Well-Being in Cohabiting, Married, and Single-Parent Families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(4), 876โ€“893. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00876.x

Office for National Statistics. (2019). Children whose families struggle to get on are more likely to have mental disorders: Healthy family functioning and parental mental health are important elements in understanding the mental health of children. Retrieved from https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/childhealth/articles/childrenwhosefamiliesstruggletogetonaremorelikelytohavementaldisorders/2019-03-26

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47 thoughts on “Onward: A Fatherly Quest

  1. Reading your post makes me want to watch Onward: A Fatherly Quest. I am also sorry about your past. I know it is sad to grew without a father. However, I pray that you will have a good future.

  2. I have been wanting to see this film since it came out and haven’t gotten to it yet. Now, wanting to watch it more than ever after reading your review.

  3. I donโ€™t remember even hearing about this film, sounds worth a watch though. Iโ€™ll have to see if I can get it to watch for the weekend.

  4. I just watched Onward with my family, so I loved reading your review! I usually like most Pixar films, though I do feel like Disney is quite an expert at presenting stereotypes, so it was nice to see Ian realize he had his brother all along.

    Despite some holes in the plot and presence of magic in the world, Onward was a film I would watch again. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I have not heard of this movie, but it sounds interesting, especially because you were able to compare it to real life. Your Granddad sounds like a very loving and caring man. Are you still in touch with him? Is he your mom’s father?

  6. I did not watched the movie yet but I should. I love how you related the movie to your own life. I love the way you write. You can feel the emotional pain and the gratefulness in your words. Very beautiful. Even though I feel bad about your father, I am glad you had a father figure to help you out. Stay strong!

  7. I haven’t seen this yet but I’ve heard some great things from many people. I love the lesson about father figures in our lives. While I grew up with an INCREDIBLE father, he passed away when I was 15. After that, there were a few different people who stepped up and filled that important role in my life including one of my uncles and my martial arts instructor. While these people weren’t my father, they held (and hold) a really important part in my life and in my heart.

  8. I saw Onward in the cinema in an early preview screening and absolutely loved it. I find it had very little advertising in the UK so I didn’t even realise I was going in to see a Pixar film!

  9. I keep skipping this on Disney+ (kids watched it with daddy) but now I’m going to have to watch it! I had no idea what it was about actually. I’m glad you had your grandpa growing up.

  10. Wow this sounds like such an awesome film. Especially since Father’s Day is coming up! Thanks for sharing!

  11. I loved the film “Onward.” It hit me in the feels too. I’ve lost both of my parents, and the idea of seeing either one of them for at least a day made watching the film a little harder for me than anticipated (who would’ve guessed “Onward,” and “Inside Out” would leave me bawling…thanks Pixar!). I’m sorry about the lack of a relationship with your dad, that must have been horrible for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. And I appreciate your diving into information about “traditional,” families vs. single-parent. I’ve always heard that “traditional,” (again, what does that even mean anymore?) family structures lead to better outcomes for children, but that never sat right with me. I think it has to do with what you said: there are all sorts of factors that lead to children’s well-being or lack thereof, and blaming a certain familial structure vs. outside factors (poverty, trauma from the divorce, etc.) is a little over-simplified. Great post!

  12. First allow me to say that I have never even hear of this movie until now, but wow I really look forward to seeing it. For me reading your childhood really pulled at my heartstrings. I still have both of my parents, however they have been divorced for over forty years. I, on occasion will call or text my dad. There are no ill feelings there. But, the man that I consider my “dad” is my stepdad that married my mom many moons ago. He passed away 18 years ago, but to this day still feels like yesterday. I am here to tell you that anyone can be a father or a mother, but it takes a special individual to be a mom or dad. Your writing shows what a wonderful person that you have grown to be. Never, ever dwell on something that we cannot change…life is way too short for that. Simply put, be proud of the person that you are today. Keep up the excellent writing my friend!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you. You’re right, it does take a special someone to be a real mum or dad, and those special someone’s aren’t always biologically related to us

  13. I need to watch this film and I also grew up in a single parent family with my granddad as a father figure. Earlier this year my dad denied that my sisters and I were his children at all but luckily the DNA tests he demanded proved him wrong!
    -Kyra

  14. I will definitely watch the film onward, i love family stories. Your insights show so many issues today in our society today. Is it better to be a single parent or hold on to what they define as โ€œfamilyโ€, two parent per se; for the sake of the kids? Then I can only think of allowing a child to grow up in a less toxic environment filled with love and lasting memories. Iโ€™m sorry to hear that your past has been quite difficult but I would like to believe that there are people around you who showed you love and kindness. Take care!

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