A Black female counselling is having a session with a black couple to represent the topic of the article - Therapy Goals: Getting The Best From Your Mental Health Treatment

Therapy Goals: Getting The Best From Your Counselling

Before starting treatment, or even seeking treatment, ask yourself, “what do you want from your mental health therapy?” It can be very useful to have some sort of idea of what your therapy goals are. With no goals to attain, it’ll be harder to see improvements in your mental health.

 

For example, when I tried to get help for my borderline personality disorder, I had one simple goal. That goal was to feel love and to love others. Love was my goal because I have attachment issues, which cause relationship difficulties. I have these problems because of the racist bullying I endured at the hands of everyone around me at primary school, and the emotional neglect I got at home.

 

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The Broad Therapy Goals

 

What’s important to remember is that the counsellor isn’t there to fix you, but to guide you towards your own recovery. Only you can fix you. Thus, depending on who you talk to, there are between four and nine broad therapy goals. These broad therapy goals cover the basic tenants of counselling and will probably form the bedrock of your sessions.

 

The five therapy goals

 

  • Changing behaviours

This goal is pretty self explanatory. You have a behaviour you would like to change. I came across this one a lot while working at a substance misuse service. There are many ways to approach behaviours change, such as setting up SMART goals to help facilitate change. Cognitive behavioural therapy (or CBT) is the therapeutic approach most often used to change behaviours. But, whatever the methods used, the therapist will help you change or get rid of the behaviour.

 

  • Establishing and maintaining relationships

This is the one I sort help for, because of my romantic relationship issues. For this, the therapist can help develop actionable goals with you (Taylor Counseling Group) and help you develop social and relationship skills.

 

  • Improving your ability to cope

Having mental health issues can present a lot of challenges that you’ll need to learn to cope with. I know I did with my anxiety disorders. A therapist will help you learn to cope with the changes relating to your mental health, as well as how to cope with other changes, such as loss.

 

  • Facilitating decision-making

Making decisions can be tough, especially when no matter what your decision is, there’s going to be a chance for regret. This therapy goal is to enable the individual to make critical decisions which they may have become stuck on. The therapist won’t help you by making the decision for you, but they’ll help you get to a place where you can make that decision yourself.

 

  • Personal development

Personal development should be a lifelong endeavour for everyone. A therapist will help you assess your skills and qualities to help you reach your maximum potential.

 

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Questions To Ask Yourself To Create Your Therapy Goals

 

There are a lot of questions you could ask yourself to get an idea of what your therapy goals might be. However, remember to keep them realistic, because your therapists are only human. They can’t wave a magic wand and fix you. Also, answering these questions can also make for a good journalling idea.

 

Questions

  • What causes me to seek therapy?
  • What are the things I need help with?
  • What do I want to achieve during my therapy sessions?
  • What difficulties do I want help with?
  • What does my recovery look like?
  • What are the things in my life that I’m tired of?
  • What are the things in my life that I love and want more of?
  • What life skills do I think I need?
  • How could therapy improve my quality of life?
  • What would my ideal self look like after completing treatment?
  • What do I want to change about my situation?
  • What symptoms would I want to reduce the intensity of?
  • What trauma or event(s) do I need help to process?
  • What are my harmful behaviours?
  • How’s my self-esteem?
  • Are there any boundaries I need?
  • What’s going on in my life?
  • What do I believe is blocking me from the things I want in life?
  • What are the things I haven’t done yet that I’d still like to do?

 

The picture is split in two with the top image being of a white couple sitting on a sofa talking a white male therapist. The bottom image being of a White couple sitting on a sofa talking to a white female counsellor. The two images are separated by the article title - Therapy Goals: Getting The Best From Your Mental Health Treatment

 

An Example Of Questioning Yourself To Create Your Therapy Goals

 

I’m stealing this example from the Counselling Directory, which goes like:

 

Imagine that while you’re sleeping all of your problems are solved. When you wake up, what changes do you notice? (Consider emotional and behavioural changes and thought processes).

 

Once you’ve asked yourself this question, start writing your answers in a notebook or journal, if you have one. If you don’t have a journal, then consider getting one, as they can be extremely beneficial for mental health recovery.

 

If I asked myself this question, this would be what I’d write:

 

I’d wake up, and I’d be able to have a meaningful romantic relationship with someone where I could feel love, and which my body wouldn’t sabotage.

 

That would be my answer to the question because what I want from my treatment is the ability to be in a long-term romantic relationship. My borderline personality disorder causes me to struggle with relationships. And, for over a decade, I avoided being in a relationship. I was incapable of being in a relationship for longer than three months. I didn’t want to hurt the other person for no reason, so this was the best option all around, and I was always honest about that.

 

I feel love (lust) extremely intensely, but something will happen that will flip that into being extremely disgusted by them touching me. That flipped feeling stays like that until the moment I’m no longer in a relationship with them. I also have a problem with cheating, and I don’t want to be a cheater, which is another reason I avoided being in relationships. I just sort validation from the wrong places, because I could only get that validation from people who weren’t close to me.

 

Next steps

Now that you have some therapy goals worked out, you can discuss them with your therapist. Your therapist will then help you flesh out what your therapy goals are and talk about what support you might benefit from. Remember, counselling is very much a two person effort, at least in my therapeutic approach.

 

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You Don’t Need To Know Your Therapy Goals Ahead Of Time

 

Although this article is about helping you find your therapy goals ahead of time, you don’t have to. My partner has often asked me what they think they should work on before they start a fresh round of therapy. But that’s not for me to answer. Asking yourself the questions that I’ve outlined above can help you determine what you’d like to get from therapy. But as I said, you don’t have to have these goals figured out in advance.

 

In my years of volunteering and supporting clients with substance dependency and mental health issues, the majority likely don’t really know what they want from therapy. Which is ok. A therapist will work with you to find the difficulties and goals you might want to work on. Sure, it can help if you know this in advance, but it’s perfectly fine to be unsure or not know at all.

 

I’ve worked with many a client who were having sessions with me because they were struggling, but they didn’t know what they wanted from therapy. In situations like that, you talk and ask questions, building up the therapeutic relationship in the progress. During this process, certain things and patterns will emerge that can then be turned into goals.

 

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Summary

 

Knowing your therapy goals can be helpful for many reasons. If you’re only accessing short-term therapy, which is often the first port of call in the NHS, you’ll only have eight to 12 sessions. Therefore, knowing what you want from the therapy can save valuable time. However, as I’ve already said, it’s also ok not to know. Your therapist will help you figure that out.

 

In the same way that you can ask yourself questions to determine your therapy goals, you can ask yourself questions about if the therapy is helping. But that’s a discussion for another article.

 

As always, leave your feedback in the comments section below. Also, please share your experiences of therapy and creating therapy goals in the comments section below as well. Don’t forget, if you want to stay up-to-date with my blog, then sign up for my newsletter below. Alternatively, get push notifications for new articles by clicking the red bell icon in the bottom right corner.

 

Lastly, if you’d like to support my blog, you can make a donation of any size below. Until next time, Unwanted Life readers.

 

 

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46 thoughts on “Therapy Goals: Getting The Best From Your Counselling”

  3. This is interesting, I’mm trying to develop coping when things goes wrong or don’t go as planned. Also, when I risk to achieve the goals I want. I will try to get a therapy goal to learn more and help me more.

  4. Very helpful article with really good points. I like that you listed questions someone could ask themselves beforehand as I think it’s always a good idea to understand what your expectations are. I really enjoyed reading this, and I’m sure this will help out a lot of people who could be considering therapy in their lives. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • Sometimes it can be hard to figure out what you want or know what to ask yourself to find out, so hopefully those questions will make the whole process easier for everyone

  5. Such a great post! I had such a hard time with therapy, up until I finally found the one that meshed with me the most. Those questions you gave are a great stepping stool for getting a decent therapist!

  6. I went to therapy years ago for my anxiety and depression. It was so helpful. I did CBT and I still use this technique today. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Thanks for sharing these tips and your story. I have struggled with something similar previously. I saw a CBT therapist and a psychologist which helped. Journaling helps so much, like you say. Thanks for sharing. Jade MumLifeandMe

  8. I feel like setting therapy goals is a tremendous way to get that extra mile out of the limited time each session potentially allows for! Knowing primarily what you are seeking help for and what you want your end result to look like opens up the road to the right conversations. 🙂

  9. These are incredible things for getting the most out of mental health treatment. We have a friend plans starting therapy in the next couple of months, and we will definitely share this post with them. Thank you for sharing!

  10. I suspect listing questions for a therapist regarding therapy goals could enlighten oneself. Being proactive pre-treatment could potentially help get the most out of each session. Thanks.

  11. This helped me understand the broad variety of issues that can benefit from therapy. And as others noted, clarifying my needs and goals ahead of time can help me make the most of sessions.

  12. Therapy has so many great benefits. I have had cbt and it was so beneficial. Those questions sound very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.

    Lauren

  13. Wow, why have I never thought I needed goals? I knew I needed help and assumed the therapist would somehow know what my intended outcome should be,

  14. Such a beautiful post, thank you. It made me reflect deeply on myself and I felt you put a lot of you in it.

    Which is first of all because of your beautiful writing style and second because you can sense it’s genuine.

    I’ve never been to a therapist, but I have many of the questions and points you mentioned come back at me.
    For me Stoicism and philosophy turned out to be a great therapeutically vehicle. It made me ask the questions and showed me it was ok to live my life.

    For example, alchohol has always been a big problem for me. Out of control drinking let to anxiety and minor depressions. No, since two years I stopped drinking all together. Because I can make that decision and I don’t have to do what I think others want me to do.

    Thanks for this great post!

  15. Having a goal sounds like a really good idea. It isn’t something I would have immediately thought of. I have now. As someone with a hidden disability, I can access counselling – and it is something I intend to do over the next 6 months. My goal, having read this post, will be to overcome my fear (my disability was caused by cancer surgery) of the cancer returning. Thank you for sharing these valuable insights.

  16. Thanks for this amazing post, I got all quiet from it. Your beautiful writing and genuine tone made it resonate deeply within. Incredible to read and a definite eye opener in many ways. Thank you for sharing this

  17. During the pandemic my job provided free therapy sessions and thankfully, my health insurance actually covers therapy sessions. I tried 2 different Therapists (male and female), but they were just not for me. I did not connect with them or maybe they did not meet my idealogy of who is a Therapist. But I strongly believe that therapy is needed. As you said, they are not there to fix you, but they should help guide and provide tools for you to live better lives.

    • The most important part of therapy is often the therapeutic relationship, and because we’re all different the ease of that relationship can vary. Because all therapists are different too. Research even says the therapeutic relationship is more important than the style of therapy. I guess that’s because it’s easier to work with someone and believe change is possible with those you have a really good therapeutic relationship with

  18. Thanks for sharing this. I’m just starting some therapy with the goal to learn to cope and support others in my life that are suffering some some mental health challenges.

  21. Very useful post, especially the questions. Therapy is never a quick or easy process. It’s important to be realistic about any goals you set. Just admitting that you need therapy can be tough, let alone working out what you want from it.

  22. This was just what I needed. I KNOW that I would benefit from connecting with a therapist, but keep putting it off. When I was dealing with the aftermath of my separation and subsequent divorce, therapy (through my work’s employee assistance program) was integral to helping me out of one of my darkest points. This was a helpful primer. Thank you,

  23. Pingback: Using Motivational Interviewing To Help A Loved One - Unwanted Life

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